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This episode featured the story Toxic by this-bright-eyed-soul. This episode featured special guest, Mike Schubert, from the Potterless Podcast.

The hosts are looking for an original Grindeldore story for Season 8.

Mike's F.O.W.L.S. answers (only four asked because one is a *bit* of a spoiler)

  1. He would want to get it on in the Room of Requirement because he could make it as comfy and accomodating as possible.
  2. His first choice of partner would be Ginny Weasley because he thinks she's clever and funny. Second place would be a young McGonagall
  3. Spell would be consensual Legilimency so that he knows what Ginny wants in the moment.
  4. Magical artifiact would be a time turner so he could have multiples of himself for the sexy times.

Episode Summary[]

Harry is harboring some dirty desires for Lord Voldemort, even though the relationship is the definition of toxic.

Notable Moments[]

  • Mike puts in a strong showing on the fanfic glossary quiz, even though he's not actually familiar with the fanfic community.
    • Fortunately "PWP" is NOT Person with pet (i.e. not bestiality related)
  • Mike outs himself as a Britney superfan who knows the entire plot of the Toxic music video.
  • Wizard porn is pensieve based? Sticky white film flowing over the side.
    • "Not in the family's Peensieve!" ~ Allie
  • Voldemort wears compression stockings so that a blood clot doesn't take him down.
  • Voldemort's figure is skeletal?
  • Danny reveals a hidden talent for Parselsinging
  • Danny hopes that all Mike can picture during the next two books is Voldemort dressed as Britney.
  • Mike calls the unrealistic combination of luscious curves and thin thighs on Voldemort. These impossible beauty standards!
  • "That's the dick!" ~ Mike
  • "Meat" is a new euphemism for penis that gets a big NO from all the hosts.
  • Allie loses it at "Butt-holedemort". Mike appreciates Voldemort's love of puns.
  • Lyndsay proposes this is a "meat cute"
  • "Ginny can call my dick whatever. It's all good!" ~ Mike
  • Allie hypothesizes Voldemort doesn't want to take over the wizarding world; he just wants to get in Harry's pants.
  • Mike ships Lovebottom.

Wands Up or Down[]

Allie: Down

  • Wants more Butt-holedemort!

Danny: Up

  • Loves love.
  • Thinks this is only the beginning for Harry and Voldy

Lyndsay: Down

  • Wanted more action

Mike: Down

  • Was up all the way to the end, but hates the "it was just a dream" trope.
  • Loves the Britney Spears crossover
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