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In this episode we read "Ron's Tiny Problem & Hermione's Big Solution" by sordidhumor.

This entire episode is one big Ron Bash.

Episode Summary[]

Hermione is pregnant and horny and Ron's tiny equipment just isn't cutting it, so Ron asks Harry to have a threesome.

Bobsled

The Bobsled has a new incarnation, courtesy of Emily Porter.

Pairings[]

  • Ron/Hermione
  • Harry/Hermione
  • Harry/Ron
  • Harry/Ron/Hermione

Notable Moments[]

  • The hosts talk about the Twitter Yule Ball, where people roleplay/livetweet the Hogwarts Yule Ball
  • The hosts can't get out their Quickie jingle because of a giggling fit.
  • Allie changes "time for us to read another quick fanfic" to "time for us to read about Ron's small prick"
  • Possibly one of the best cold opens into a fic the podcast has ever done.
  • "feel the rhythm feel the rhyme, Hermione's pregnant, bobsled time!"
  • Allie makes a joke that Harry wouldn't even understand what they were asking him to do.
  • Danny mentions "going out with Jill tonight" being a euphemism for masturbating because your hand makes that shape?
  • Hermione is very hormonal...Hormonie
  • Getting rid of the Dark Lord should buy you a lot of positive kharma.
  • Reference to Harry being a cock critiquer.
  • "Ron's the ice cream and she wants Harry's pickle." ~ Lyndsay
  • New nickname for the crotch area: "the south country"
    • "Pack your bags! We're going south!" ~ Allie
    • "Don't forget a converter, because there's a different plug!" ~ Danny
  • Lyndsay wonders why Hermione didn't "Engorgio" Ron's penis while Danny warns us about the dangers of penis enlargement ads.
  • Allie wonders if Hermione couldn't just shrink her vagina magically to accomodate Ron's Tiny Problem until they realize that might cause the baby to just pop out.
  • "She's so wet! OH! HER WATER BROKE!"
  • "And his "big brown eye" gazed up at Ron" ~ Allie
  • Gasping Lyndsay
  • "Girl's been doing her Kegels!" ~ Lyndsay
  • The hosts are in uproar as the unborn baby joins in on the action
    • "So she's breech" ~ Allie
  • The hosts are so turned off they change the Wands Up or Down Song to "are you wands definitely down"
  • "Sorry!" *kiss*
  • "Ask not what your South Country can do for you, but what you can do for your South Country" ~ Lyndsay
  • "The south has won, my friends" ~ Allie
  • Ron's dick's name is Jason
  • It's not the size of the prize, it's the lack of apology when you ejaculate.
Ronstiny

Wands Up or Down?[]

  • Lyndsay: Down
    • Only thing she's up for is the creativity and the fact that Harry is so large he rips condoms
    • Down for Ron not only having a small dick, but also being a premature ejaculator
  • Danny: Down
    • up for the bobsled, and everyone's willingness to support a pregnant lady
  • Allie: Down
    • up for pregnant women embracing their sexual needs
    • down for Ron unnecessarily being involved, coming too soon and the word "sorry"
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