NOTE: In most cases this episode is titled "Give a Dog a Boner", but on the Potterotica Podcast website it is titled "Choices", after the name of the story.
This is a Potterotica Podcast exclusive story called "Choices" that was written by MaisieBee and beta'd by Heather.
Episode Summary[]
Lily has had it up to here with James and his refusal to have a baby, and after a long, hard day at the Hungarian Hortail, Sirius begins to look like the answer to her problems.
Pairings[]
- Lily Evans/Sirius Black
- Lily Evans/James Potter
- James Potter/Lily Evans/Sirius Black
Notable Moments[]
- The hosts (read: Allie) struggle to get the new quickie song out at the beginning.
- They have become 1950's ad men: every problem can be solved with a jingle
- Hosts joke about Plughorn's Icelandic cousin.
- Story features the Hungarian Horntail, which was one of the Magical strip club names from the podcast.
- Lyndsay's type: An enchanted dragon bouncer
- Danny's concerned about losing his hand in the enchanted bouncer and needing worker's comp.
- Lyndsay wants a While You Were Sleeping/Harry Potter crossover featuring the draught of living death.
- Allie has a gigglefest when she misinterprets "the owner of the voice" to mean that "the voice" is a place.
- The only thing Allie drinks: vodka
- "What I love is the strength of their friendship." ~ Lyndsay, as Lily and Sirius start cheating on James.
- Danny expresses his love for the cult classic The Room.
- "Nothing like a kiss that is wet and desperate!" ~ Allie
- "She's gotta blow off some steam, blowing off Sirius" ~ Danny
- Allie wonders if Sirius also has the chinese symbol for "all is possible" on a tattoo.
- Danny guesses that Sirius' koi fish tattoo is called "Muffin"
- Allie is still working through the traumatic death of her fish that had lived to be 9 years old. She accidentally killed it when she was too impatient when cleaning the bowl and didn't wait long enough before putting it back in.
- Allie prefers boxer briefs
- Sirius also has silken pubes
- Danny pronounces Muffliato as Muff-lee-aysh-ee-o
- Hosts discuss whether they would have sex in public bathrooms (even if they are the Prefects' bathroom)
- "Is that the Dark Mark? That's the dick mark" ~ Danny
- Allie and Lyndsay suggest it would emit a sound effect of moaning of the person that gave it to you. Or Tim Allen's grunting from Home Improvement.
- Hosts are just as surprised by Sirius calling out James' name during sex as Sirius is.
- Gasping Lyndsay
- Allie's post-sex Sirius voice is less than sexy.
- Hosts joke that Sirius could be James and Lily's pet dog.
- Long, sexy owl legs make another appearance.
- Lyndsay wants to live the owl life. She wants people to give her snacks regularly. She just really likes toast.
Wands Up or Down[]
Allie: Up
- Loves Sirius
Lyndsay: Up
- Loves that he cleaned her cauldron afterwards and gave the owl toast.
- Liked the visual of a "built" Sirius.
Danny: Up
- Sex and tattoos are steamy
- No "cheating" (Lyndsay argues the technicalities of that)
Potterotics Shout Outs[]
- Maisie Bee authored the story for this quickie
- Hosts mention their Hurricane Harvey promotional episode that featured a story by Theresa.