This episode was recorded live at the Chicago Podcast Festival and features the story "Everything He Wants" by jessingaround.
Episode Summary[]
Draco wants to give Harry something he's always wanted but never gotten to have for their anniversary.
Relationship(s)[]
- Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Luna Lovegood
Notable Moments[]
- "The Slytherins are in the bathroom doing coke." ~ Lyndsay
- The hosts recount past seasons, quickies, and a few prominent jokes from the podcast.
- The hosts read snippets from five of the zaniest fanfics they could find.
- "Defeat the Dark Lord? Sure. Oral Health? Nope!" ~ Lyndsay
- Danny reads "grabbable" like the "crab apple" (sort of like Bart's teacher in The Simpsons.
- "DOBBY'S GOING IN!" ~ Danny as Dobby
- Danny jokes that he pictures Harry writing very explicit things in the diary from the Chamber of Secrets, so much so that the diary begs not to be told any more.
- Allie and Lyndsay decide to bring back "going all the way"
- Fifth anniversary = "taco"
- "No one wants to admit that they really want to go there, but they do. Like the Cheesecake Factory." ~ Lyndsay, about L'Amour restaurant
- "You just ruined another sponsor, Lynds!" ~ Danny
- Wands down at love
- Drinking game: drink every time you hear the word "safe word"
- Lyndsay jokes the safe word is "le safe word". Danny's is "DOBBY'S GOING IN!"
- "Draco tried to smile...'am I doing it?'" ~ Allie and Lyndsay
- "Who's here for soft bodies? Whoo! It's almost winter!" ~ Lyndsay
- "It's starting to make sense! Wands down!" ~ Lyndsay
- "Go right for the nostrils. It's so hot." ~ Allie
- Hopefully Harry doesn't follow Snape's map.
- Lyndsay comes up with their Wizard Rock name, Danny and the B Cups.
- "We do learn a lot from this. My work computer is a mess." ~ Danny
- The Splooge vs. Spooge debate continues.
- "This is like a bad night in college." ~ Allie
- "I touched your Mount Everest on 'your globe'" ~ Danny
- The hosts joke again that Harry's pubes are in the shape of a lightning bolt, since he was a baby.
- Luna is the Golden Snatch.
- "How many guys here are like, 'That was really hard, but now I'm here; what an accomplishment! Hey everyone! Look at the puzzle I just finished!" ~ Danny
- "A Jizzsaw Puzzle!" ~ Lyndsay
- Lyndsay works on the sex logistics of where Draco is.
Wands Up or Down[]
- The hosts do not state whether their wands are up or down in this episode, but the crowd's is.
Other Media[]
Other Mentioned Stories[]
These five stories were also mentioned by the hosts at the beginning and they read out snippets of each. Click on each image to be directed to the story.